I just got a call from Omar; he finally made it to Iraq. 
I was starting to think they were part of some conspiracy or something the way all the planes were canceled and such.

No internet -not a surprise, but still a bummer.
He's separated from his team by a forty-five minute walk - won't be needing a gym, ha. If he doesn't receive his mail, there's going to be a problem.
Staying in haggard bunkers with about ten other men - very disappointing considering all of the Florida guys have one man rooms or conexes. He said that him and Parrish decorated it with Xmas lights, I can't wait to see pictures haha.

I do not know what to think, I'm just really sad. He sounded really positive and he didn't complain. He wasn't even upset about Alabama losing, haha! Nevertheless, I felt he was unhappy. It's my job to make him happy and not being able to do that, simply be there for him, has been one of the hardest things about deployment.

It's just one thing I can't get over. There's one thing I tend to linger on the most: I don't understand. I can't understand.
He volunteered! He fucking volunteered for the 146th ESB. Volunteered meaning he didn't have to do this, but no, he did to do his duty overseas and to better himself. He is there to help them! I don't and will not understand how RESPECT is void in commanding positions' eyes. The Army is based on respect yet on the inside where is their respect for each other?!
Maybe he's with some other Alabama guys that aren't such great soldiers, but being guilty by association is wrong. I can't stop saying it: he is there for them! Yet from what it sounds he is constantly shafted. I do grasp the concept there is no more room where the rest of the guys are, but what's their excuse when the existing soldiers are moved out and they just brush over the situation? I'm almost positive it'll be put aside. There's no reason to be looked down upon because he is from another unit.

Maybe some should take a consideration of the things they mindlessly recite and realize what he or she is saying:

I am an American Soldier.
I am a Warrior and a member of a team.
(A team, working together!)
I serve the people of the United States and live the Army Values.
(Army Values, eh? RESPECT of fellow servicemen; SELFLESS SERVICE - consideration of subordinates, working as a team; HONOR - living up to these values; INTEGRITY - doing what is the right thing to do, a "moral compass"; PERSONAL COURAGE - what the men who volunteered chose to do and any soldier not dodging their duty)

I will always place the mission first.
I will never accept defeat.
I will never quit.
I will never leave a fallen comrade.
(It doesn't say one is not a comrade if he or she is from a different state or unit!)

I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills.
I always maintain my arms, my equipment and myself.
(By being disciplined I sure as hell hope some can get over their egos.)
I am an expert and I am a professional.
(Professionals use dignity. There is nothing professional by undermining another's service.)
I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy the enemies of the
United States of America in close combat.
I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life.
I am an American Soldier.

Just felt the need to point some things out. This silly journal is unread by the people who need to see it. Nevertheless, it needed to be said.
 

So Omar has been in Kuwait for who knows how long; I can't keep up with the days. Each attempt to go to Iraq is thwarted by some scheduling or plane issue which scares me even more. Although he complains about not reaching Camp Delta, I am selfishly happy knowing he is safer in Kuwait despite no personal living quarters and other problems in there.
I have only gotten upset a handful of times. Being able to talk to him online is totally helpful. I really, really, hope it's not taken away.
Bahhh, I miss him. Terribly. Beyond terribly. I can't explain what it's like to not be able to tell him something whenever I want, hearing a car that sounds like his and not just assuming it's him, and the other night after babysitting all night I actually came home in a delirious state actually expecting him to be in bed!
But I can do this --easily! I have stayed super positive [minus one day]. I will continue to as well. I'm doing this for him -- which is so insignificant compared to the sacrifice he is making me for me.
 

 

I just came home from saying goodbye at the airport. I'm heartbroken but I'm surprised by my composure. 
All eyes were on the group of us. There was a group prayer, and despite my nonreligious ways, that was when I first teared up. Watching the crowd around us stop what they were doing, stand up, and give their respect to these men was truly moving. One of the officers (pardon me, I haven't gotten a hold of ranks yet) from the unit came along to send them off as well. He asked the men who have gone before to watch the backs of the guys like Omar who have never been and basically be there for each other. The rest of the hour was followed by others tearing up as they couldn't help watching us say goodbye. I would kill at this moment to be good with words. I felt like I could not hold Omar any closer and just told him how much I love him and will be there for him each step of the way. The last glimpse of him I had, he was blowing me a kiss from the terminal. Sarahi, Sgt. Holt's wife Bridget, and I watched the plane take of then headed home. I'm really thankful I have two other wives who will help me along the way. Wow, I almost left out how incredibly thankful he didn't leave on the original date three weeks ago. This extra time I spent with him will mean so much in the months ahead.
So what's next? This is day one. Three hundred (plus) to go. I hope it doesn't pass agonizingly slow even though I have a feeling it will be that way. I really need to keep busy which I plan to do by focusing everything onto school. I love Omar, more than I ever expected humanly possible. My first love, my only true love...I'm just scared to death our plans for forever will be cut short. I can't live with that happening. All I can do is assure him I am waiting faithfully at home for his return. It's been about two hours and I can't wait to see, touch, feel, simply be in his presence again.

i am
SO
SCARED.

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Ahh, so he left today for SRP and AT with the 146th ESB out of Florida. [You guys without military experience, they love the hell out of abbreviations!] He will be gone for three weeks and return home for about six days. Thennn...off to Ft.Bliss for his MOB and next stop: Iraq.

Yesterday I cried like a baby. I was with him through basic and AIT so I have some experience in absence but that doesn't take away the initial sting followed by days, weeks, months of numbness. Today I feel that weak feeling coming on.

It's crazy. It's now been four years since we first met and four years next month of our relationship. We have had some serious rows, we have broken up, and other things deviating from the story tale life. We're not perfect...we don't claim to be. But there is something there. Something that we can't escape.

We love each other.
And that I don't need to prove to anyone.

I'm proud to wait for him. I live to support him. This bed, this apartment, this town feels empty without him.

I HATE rude kids in class. ESPECIALLY packing up early before being dismissed.
IT"S TACKY AND UNGRATEFUL.

I am a receiver of scholarships and federal grants. It really pisses me off to see people totally unappreciative about being in school -- like they have to be there. In other countries, so I hear, education is a privilege. Yes, America and freedom blah blah BUT so many people do not deserve to be in schools (high school and college). It is continually bringing people down who seek education...but that's a whole different post for a whole different day.

I like receiving a formal education. That's all.
 

I have found some amazing stuff in some blogs and communities. So that's why I have made my return to Live Journal.
Don't expect a lot of writing, I'm here more for the reading.